It’s no secret that the greatest thoughts of our time have occurred in the Shower.
You know that dude, Archimedes? He ran out of his tub, in his birthday suit, yelling “Eureka!” across the streets of Greece …. ‘cuz homie had a shower thought. That shower thought was the Archimedes Principle.
Now my shower thoughts are so not at that level…..(really, they have to do with Doritos and other equally lame but important things). So here are:
15 SHOWER THOUGHTS THAT HAD US BRIEFLY RE-EVALUATE LIFE
1. Why are Doritos Triangles?
Someone not a fan of squares or circles? Were they trying to be like Bugles? What’s with the geometry racism?
2. Why is the cupcake store next to the gym? Actually why is the gym next to the cupcake store?
Why you do me wrong. #wicked games
3. I wonder how many people have saved the world, without realizing it.
One “D-Oh!” at a time.
4. If you celebrate multiple cultures’ new years (like Chinese New Year etc.), you can keep rolling over your “new year resolutions” without ever breaking them.
Because “next year, it’ll be different”. #winning
5. What if Phobias are a result of how you died in a past life?
6. If you want a six pack, you can’t have a six pack
Sniff, sniff. Who needs abs anyways.
7. Everytime you hear a song on the radio, that’s the sound of a musician’s dream come true.
Congratulations, that must’ve taken a lot of hard work and perserverance.
8. A Kangaroo is pretty much a T-Rex deer.
I confess I saw this online once. The quote I mean, not the T-Rex deer part.
9. Is it possible to love someone you’ve never even met?
On a side note, I have loved cupcakes I never even knew existed.
10. If you’re waiting for the waiter….then in that moment, you have become the waiter.
Take a deep breath, Keanu.
11. If “Forever 21” decided to open a new store for its aging & loyal shoppers, would they call it “Until You’re 42”?
You so mean, forever 21.
12. If Adam & Eve were the first man and woman, why do they have bellybuttons?
Please someone explain,
13. It’s difficult to make things easy, but easy to make things difficult.
C’est la vie, my friends.
14. Why don’t horror movies have a blooper reel?
We’d all sleep so much better….Looking at you ‘Paranormal activity’ & ‘The Ring’. Jesus, nearly peed myself.
15. What if our pets name us, the way we name them?
“I’m naming my human, Mr. Cuddles”
So there you have it folks, 15 utterly useless, yet profound-feeling revelations. These are not even random pieces of trivia, that someday may help you win Jeopardy. But it’s cool, if it gets you one step closer to finding your Mojo. What are your Shower Thoughts?
Be loud & proud in your Shower Thoughts, people!
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Also published on Medium.