10 things that happen when you listen to Adele’s powerful new song

 

Stop what you’re doing right now!! Adele’s back.

It’s been 4 years since the Queen of power ballads had a new song. “Hello” is garnering 1.2 million views per hour. The Mojo force is strong with Adele.

And that’s an understatement.

 

Here’s what happens when you listen to Adele’s “Hello” & why it’s worthy of your obsession:

1. It will make you feel things, people.
And take you places. What’s that? You want to feel like you’re atop Mt. Everest? You know, jaw dropped in awe, short of breath from the altitude??? LISTEN TO THE CHORUS!

 

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2. What’s that? You just watched The Walking Dead on Sunday?
( Spoiler Alert! Stuff went down! ) Need a hug? Yes you do! LET THIS SONG HUG AWAY THE PAIN OF LOSING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!

3. Oh what was that, you want to feel like you’re in Ryan Gosling’s embrace??
Well, I can’t help you there…& I don’t think Adele can either…but, err, thanks for sharing what’s on your mind.

 

Ryan! Stop being so distracting! Some of us are trying to blog here…

 

4. You experience mind-melt.
Oh. My. God. The way the song builds up….with a pensive ‘Hello, It’s Me’ to a roaring suplex of vocals is beautiful & devastating.

5. You find yourself wondering… what’s up with the flip phone in the video??
Maybe that’s why she’s singing this:

Hello from the other side/I must’ve called a thousand times
But when I call/you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside

Well, yea…it’s a flip phone, does that contraption work anymore? Adele, girl I don’t think reception’s good where you at, maybe Network’s down girlfriend. Not that he don’t love you no more!

6. Reception woes aside….that glorious chorus!
YOU WILL FEEL A TSUNAMI OF FEELS TAKE YOU TO AN ISLAND OF MORE FEELS. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

7. It will remind you of many things
The one you loved so foolishly, but so deeply. The one that got away & was the love of your life. The one who’s heart you broke & wish you could fix. Or the one who broke your heart & you know no matter what they say or do, they can’t fix it. A friend you lost – you’d give anything to see them again, but it’s just not in the cards. You miss them so much it hurts. The fact that cupcakes are * not * fat-free. Dammit Adele, you’ve done it again!! No, I’m not crying, I just have…something in my eye…

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8. You chuckle over Lionel Richie trying to get a hold of Adele.
“Yo Addy! It’s your homeboy, Lionel! Guess what! I too made a song called “hello”. Yea, bout love! Your song’s BALLER! Hello? Adele? Ahh, stupid  flip phone!”

 

9. Family members might avoid you.
Welcome, new obsession. I’ve been playing this song around the house non-stop. Family members are threatening to not come home if I play this one more time. Actually they’re kind of begging I don’t sing along. What? I sound just like Adele when I sing.

10. You die a thousand deaths & are re-born a million times.
You listen to the lyrics: to what she’s saying & what she’s not; the melody, her tone, depth & harmony, the piano, strings. And you let Mama take you to Church y’all, ‘cuz you walk out feelin’ blessed.

Preach!

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Also published on Medium.

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